Sunday, 30 August 2015

The Garden (Part 2)





 


Remember where we left the story?  Jesus is bleeding from his head from hyper anxiousness, tears are pouring down his cheeks and he is at his most vulnerable. He has returned to his followers to find them asleep.  ‘Could you not stay awake and watch over me?’ Jesus asks them.  ‘Now watch and pray, please…’  And they see the blood and see the tears and can see that their teacher is in a state of panic.  Surely they can watch over him.  Jesus goes off deeper into the garden again and prayers the same prayer as before, ‘Abba Father, everything is possible for you, please take this cup of suffering from me, yet your will not mine be done’.  Again, he needs support, he goes back and again they are asleep.  Even though they have seen the pain, the struggle, the tears and the blood, their eyes are just too heavy to stay awake.  Jesus leaves them a third time and uttered that same remarkable prayer once again.  He returns once more and they are still asleep.  ‘Are you still sleeping and resting?’ His speech is interrupted by a disturbance in the garden. Jesus says ‘The hour has come’.  Another of his friends enters the garden, this time the one he entrusted with the money.  Judas knew where to find Jesus, he would be where he always was in the beautiful garden praying to the Father.  However Judas is not alone, he comes with other men holding clubs and swords.  Judas approaches and he looks into the tear stained eyes of Jesus and notices a droplet of blood drop to the floor and as it falls he affectionately kisses Jesus on the cheek.  Except this kiss is obviously a sign, for as he kisses him the men come forward to arrest Jesus.  One man starts to protect his messiah by slicing of an ear of an accuser, but Jesus tells him and others to stop for he is not leading a rebellion.  And as the disciples see that he is going to go ‘quietly’, they run, they flee, they scarper in every direction, leaving Jesus to face his darkest time utterly alone.  In fact only a young man remained but as they go to arrest him also, they grab his nightshirt but he escapes from  it and he flees naked from the scene.  Now Jesus is utterly alone.  His friends have betrayed him.  His friends have left him.  Jesus is alone to face arrest, torture and the cross…

There are times when like Jesus we can feel utterly alone.  Times when we are weeping inside and sweating blood, yet others either do not notice or fail to offer appropriate support.  Times that feel like battles that are so important yet not shared with any other.  We think of loneliness as someone with no friends or maybe no family or someone who struggles with social anxiety.  Whereas loneliness can be going through life when no one understands who we are or what we have been through or the struggles we are facing.  You can be going through times in life and it can seem like all around you people are asleep.

But unlike Jesus, Christians can never be alone because he was first alone.  He took the punishment alone, was nailed to the cross alone and it was there he said ‘My God, My God why have you forsaken me’.  There at Calvary Jesus was totally alone.  But then… those glorious words, ‘it is finished’.  Then he breathed his last and died.  And as he died the curtain was torn in two.  The curtain in the temple that kept holy and separate the Holy of Hollies, the very presence of God, the veil was torn in two.  The room that only one priest could enter once a year was torn and was now accessible to any that would come.  The presence of God available for all who follow Jesus.  So the broken, now come… The sinner, now come… The rock bottom, not good enough, unacceptable, now come.  And the utterly alone, now come.  For he became utterly alone so we would never be.  So that we might know the presence of God for now and for eternity. 
Allow me to finish with one last story…

Ez and I took Gracie to an amusement park.  Ez was heavily pregnant which meant I had to go on all the rides with Gracie.  It was out of season and quiet so there were no queues.  We went on the log flume ride and got in the front of our log to allow others to go in behind.  No one did.  It was Gracie, then me and then 4 foot of nothing until reaching the back of the log.  We start to go up a steep hill.  I am sure we are going to fall out.  I start to panic, Gracie starts to panic and I am certain we are in trouble.  So I say to Gracie, 'just let go and lean into me, I will hold on for the both of us'.  She does as I ask.  I hold on with all my strength whilst Gracie falls into my lap and wonderfully we reach the top without falling out.  We then go round the top of the ride for a few minutes before the exciting whoosh and soaking of the downhill!  So it is with the Christian life!  When we are going uphill, life is a struggle and we feel utterly alone, we can hear God say, ‘just let go, lean on me, fall into my arms and I will hold on for the both of us’.   When we are on the top of the ride just going through ‘normal’ life, God says ''I am with you and I can make this a life in all its fullness'.  And during life's whoosh moments God is with us and is celebrating and is joyful with us. 
The good news of Jesus being utterly alone and abandoned by all is that we never need be alone.  We can have the presence of God as our guide and he promises that he will never abandon us.  May you know the promise of God, that he is with you and you are now never alone, and may you know the filling of his life giving presence. Whether at the moment you travel uphill and are close to falling out, or going through normal life or you are even counting your blessings… God is with you!

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

My Big Fat Greek Wedding






Most the films I watch today are rated universal, are animated and usually have as a starring role either a princess or a fairy.  But I don’t mind! I don’t mind being the only man at the cinema and the only adult in tears as Tinkerbell triumphs yet again!  Ez and I used to watch a lot of films but usually free evenings now involve doing jobs (Ez) and falling asleep (me).  When I go on retreat I take with me some films that have been in the pile ‘have not watched’ just in case I get the opportunity to fall asleep watching one.  These are usually films that we meant to watch years ago but have been gathering dust whilst we watch Peppa Pig, Hey Duggee and Bing.  Last night I watched the laugh out loud comedy ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’.  I laughed a lot.  I am also sure that someone brighter than me could do some interesting thoughts on cross cultural mission from the movie.  But you have probably gathered from my previous blog's that is unlikely to be me.  Instead I want to comment on my favourite line in the movie and then ask that you might allow me to self indulge a little as I share a bit of my testimony. 


Toula Portokalos is part of a fanatically proud Greek family.  She is about to become the first in her family to marry a non Greek called Ian Miller.  Ian is put through all sorts of ridiculously Greek things to be accepted as husband, son in law and as a part of their family.  Toula asks him at one stage, ‘why are you doing this’?  Ian replies, ‘because I love you’.  Toula presses again, ‘but why… why do you love me’?  Ian responds with this beautiful line, ‘because I came alive when I met you’.


Now I could get all mushy and say that is how I feel about Ez, but now she has permanently strapped to her waist three 5 and under's (which I am sort of jointly responsible for), alive is not how I always feel!  Though I of course do love my 4 girls with all my heart.  This line does though describe why I love and attempt to follow Jesus.  Because when I met him I came alive. 
I became a Christian at the age of nine when in Sunday school Mr Leach washed my feet as an example of Jesus washing the disciples feet (not because my feet were smelly).  He prayed for me, I asked Jesus into my life was filled with the Spirit and tears of joy followed.  I had many moments during the next few years where I knew and experienced Jesus which climaxed with my baptism at sixteen.  Here I heard God say that I would be a pastor.  Well, on your bike son!  There is no way I am going to be the bloke at the front everybody else criticises and judges and gives a hard time too.  Over the next year I went on a journey of world vs faith.  And the world won.  I wanted girls, I wanted alcohol, I wanted drugs… I wanted the hedonistic life style.  They were a good nine years.  I would be lying if I said anything different.  I have stories to tell.  I enjoyed the peaks.  But when life was normal, when the peaks had steadied out for the other 6 days of the week I realised I had something missing.  I was not content, I was not fulfilled, I had no purpose, I was not alive.  I met Ez during these years, clubbing in Bournemouth together, spending our nights and mornings talking.   We got together, bought a house and that could have been the 'we then lived happily ever after moment'.  But I struggled.  I seemed to have too many average days and not enough peaks.  Life was grey and not full of colour.  I was simply not alive.  A decision was needed to be made and I chose the wrong one. I left Ez to go back to a care free hedonistic life style. Ez on the other hand had been chatting to my parents on the sly!  Asking questions about their faith and what being a Christian means.  Unbeknown to me they had given Ez the ‘Why Jesus’ booklet by Nicky Gumbel.  When we broke up, she read it (on the toilet) and said the prayer on the back and she said almost the same prayer as I had all those years before with Mr Leach.  It was her time to hear God!  ‘Go and see Ben, all will be alright’.  Ez told me this, we got back together, we did an alpha course, got married and a year later we were both training to be Baptist ministers, just as God had said all those years ago in the baptismal pool!   But there was one moment I want to recall.  It was during the alpha course session ‘What about the Holy spirit’?  It was there that I once again said that prayer, a prayer of forgiveness, a prayer of commitment and God filled me once again with His Spirit and I came alive.  Suddenly I was who I should be again, once again I was being the Ben I was created to be, in relationship with my heavenly father and my word it is better than any of the hedonistic lifestyle that went before… this was 24/7, purpose, fulfilment, peace, joy… I was alive!  So if you wonder why I am a minister, why I write this blog, why I love and attempt to follow Jesus, my reply now comes from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, ‘because I came alive when I met Him’.  May you come alive!  May your life be full of joy, love, fulfilment and purpose.  May your life be in colour and not in grey.  May you know Him, the bringer of life in all its fullness and life eternal. 
I leave you with something like the prayer that I prayed with Mr Leach and Ez prayed on the toilet!  Why not pray it for yourself? 


God, I know that, in my lifetime, I have not always lived for you, and I have done things to hurt you, others and myself.  I know that you have plans for me, and I want to live in those plans. I pray to you for forgiveness for the ways in which I have not followed your ways. I am choosing now to accept Jesus into my heart. I am eternally grateful for his sacrifice on the cross and how He died so I can have eternal life. I pray that I be filled with the Holy Spirit and that I continue to live as you desire for me to live. I put myself in your hands. I pray that you work in my life and guide my steps so that I continue to live for you. In your name I pray. Amen.